Conversations with the small one pt 3 (+mother)

regarding pretzel-training--

Connie: It’s like babysitting a baby.

Kelly: Except you can’t spray babies with water

Mama: They had advertisements saying, asian carp, so delicious!

Kelly: Asian people, so delicious!

Kelly: and then instead of giving him the normal badge, he gave him the Elly badge, which was the grape soda one!

Kelly, in a wobbly voice: it was so touching. 

on the road back from minnesota----

Kelly, singing: Gander Mountain, Gander Mountain, Gander Mountain, Gander Mountain etc

Connie: You sound like a monk intoning something.

Kelly: haha! What’s Mama?

Mama (trying to sleep in the car, mumbles sleepily): I’m an alligator. Don’t bother me.

Kelly: haha! What’s Connie?

Connie: I’m a majestic lion. Roar.

Kelly: My favorite smurf was the narrator one. 

Kelly: I EAT MY WORDS!! They taste like beef jerky. 

Connie: So I can’t schedule an eye appointment until after February this year.

Mama: Okay. Do you need more insulation?

Connie: Insulation?

Mama: Yes.

Connie: You mean contacts?

(the building people were at my house)

Kelly: …and then Connie used it

(prancing in the hallway)

Kelly: And then the mice used it.

Connie in room, to self: what the fuck? 

Kelly: But maybe it will be all high tech by then.

Kelly: Because I plan to live a millennia.

Kelly: Are newspapers recyclable?

Connie: Yes

Kelly: GOOD JOB

Kelly: Are newspapers made from recyclable paper?

Connie: Yes

Kelly: GOOD JOB

Kellyisms: 

"his name is mr texas instrument"

"I just looked it up on google maps. I’m a miracle."

"I want to eat a large smelly boot"

"Tall people are awkward. It's because they have to go, where should i put my head?"

"he was so fat he had a beard!"