and i actually have that picture from saturday:
10/27/12
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
ketchup
oops so much for my posting one happiness a day thing...i wish the reason for not doing so was because i didn't use my computer for the past however many days (hooray! and: no the hell way!).
friday was becca's birthday & we all went out to the icon and logan's? i saw a banana, a dracula, a parrot, a pirate, an evil queen, a flapper, abe lincoln, an angel, a light-up balloon man, two ghosts, many slutty your-noun-of-choice_'s, and a partridge in a pear tree. just kidding. i saw more but i can't remember.
i love the middle ages! speaking of a partridge in a pear tree. they wereprobably a terrible time to live in with regards to the black death (we once watched a movie about that in third grade after which they served mac & cheese at lunch and i couldn't eat it ), childbirth, even more soulless 1%, wars, famine, etc. but they're so cool to read about. i read a lot of historical fiction when i was younger, including king arthur and his knights with all its heavy handed christian themes and thee's and thou's. british literature of that age is especially interesting because it mixes myth with fact in a way that you find in really early literature of say, china (the feats of the first emperor is not wholly factual) or in the bible (i.e. mythical feats of the real man jesus, if you're an atheist like me). i love mysterious things that exist in the realm of reality too, like stonehenge. plus, you see the appropriation of older mythic arcs from people like the picts or the celts into anglo-saxon stories which then do plenty of their own evolving to come down to our modern day. it's fascinating. i'd love to take a myths class, because i'm almost certain that there are mythical trends borrowed between cultures or repeated amongst cultures that weren't close enough to borrow.
here's something i want to think about: evolution of non-biological things, especially things that aren't tangible bc it's too easy to map the evolution of, say, a toaster. actually i guess that's cool too because it's a litmus test for the evolution of ideas.
um. happinesses. i did think of them during the days i missed:
10/26 -- those delicious tapas at the icon. spanish tortilla, stuffed flatbreads, and the calamari! wooooow.
10/27 -- when scott and i were walking back from the farmer's market, i looked up and noticed an actual tree growing up out of an apartment building balcony many stories up. the sky was completely blue, the building of golden brick lit up with sunlight, and from the really dramatic angle from the ground put sky, building, and unexpected tree in perfect juxtaposition.
10/28 -- cocoa the rabbit on her back being completely still
10/29 -- kelly's face at dinner
friday was becca's birthday & we all went out to the icon and logan's? i saw a banana, a dracula, a parrot, a pirate, an evil queen, a flapper, abe lincoln, an angel, a light-up balloon man, two ghosts, many slutty your-noun-of-choice_'s, and a partridge in a pear tree. just kidding. i saw more but i can't remember.
i love the middle ages! speaking of a partridge in a pear tree. they were
here's something i want to think about: evolution of non-biological things, especially things that aren't tangible bc it's too easy to map the evolution of, say, a toaster. actually i guess that's cool too because it's a litmus test for the evolution of ideas.
um. happinesses. i did think of them during the days i missed:
10/26 -- those delicious tapas at the icon. spanish tortilla, stuffed flatbreads, and the calamari! wooooow.
10/27 -- when scott and i were walking back from the farmer's market, i looked up and noticed an actual tree growing up out of an apartment building balcony many stories up. the sky was completely blue, the building of golden brick lit up with sunlight, and from the really dramatic angle from the ground put sky, building, and unexpected tree in perfect juxtaposition.
10/28 -- cocoa the rabbit on her back being completely still
10/29 -- kelly's face at dinner
Thursday, October 25, 2012
as good a time as any
My friend Juliette has this thing where she posts on facebook a picture of one thing per day, even if it's just a small thing, that made her a little bit happy that day. Even if the rest of the day sucked. I'm going to do that too, starting today.
Today I didn't take any pictures but there were many things that I can choose from. I'll choose this one: meeting the wonderful old man at the L&S dinner function, who told me stories of his life experiences. Together we bashed the education system and the healthcare system; he recommended me a book to read (Healing America: followed by many words after a semicolon, by T. R. Reid) that looks at our healthcare policy here in the US. He went to UW-Madison back when tuition was $275 a semester ( with the intent of going to medical school but in his last year at UW, he discovered a passion for American history, catalyzed by having one amazing professor, and crammed in a history major. Off he went to medical school for one semester, before realizing that really wasn't his calling and he changed to journalism, going to Berkeley for his MA in journalism. But it was the 60s then, and he was drafted into the navy for some time before finally returning to academics to do postdoctoral work at Stanford. He's definitely very retired now (he spends time in Hawaii too) but before he retired he worked for the Milwaukee Journal, traveling all over the world as a journalist. Also, he was a little bit deaf. But adorable, and as I looked at him I could almost see the shadow in his face of the young man he used to be--whenever I look at old people, I imagine them young and fit and still having the experiences that they're reminiscing about now, as if I can visually peel away layers of skin and layers of years to find what's still there at the core.
Okay I have to mention another thing, which has to do with the happiness of my tastebuds: tender buttery beef, pureed potatoes and mushrooms in sweet wine sauce creme brulee in a spoon, tiny brownie & tiny fruit tart eeeeeeeeee i was so happy. Those were my happinesses for today, what were yours?
Today I didn't take any pictures but there were many things that I can choose from. I'll choose this one: meeting the wonderful old man at the L&S dinner function, who told me stories of his life experiences. Together we bashed the education system and the healthcare system; he recommended me a book to read (Healing America: followed by many words after a semicolon, by T. R. Reid) that looks at our healthcare policy here in the US. He went to UW-Madison back when tuition was $275 a semester ( with the intent of going to medical school but in his last year at UW, he discovered a passion for American history, catalyzed by having one amazing professor, and crammed in a history major. Off he went to medical school for one semester, before realizing that really wasn't his calling and he changed to journalism, going to Berkeley for his MA in journalism. But it was the 60s then, and he was drafted into the navy for some time before finally returning to academics to do postdoctoral work at Stanford. He's definitely very retired now (he spends time in Hawaii too) but before he retired he worked for the Milwaukee Journal, traveling all over the world as a journalist. Also, he was a little bit deaf. But adorable, and as I looked at him I could almost see the shadow in his face of the young man he used to be--whenever I look at old people, I imagine them young and fit and still having the experiences that they're reminiscing about now, as if I can visually peel away layers of skin and layers of years to find what's still there at the core.
Okay I have to mention another thing, which has to do with the happiness of my tastebuds: tender buttery beef, pureed potatoes and mushrooms in sweet wine sauce creme brulee in a spoon, tiny brownie & tiny fruit tart eeeeeeeeee i was so happy. Those were my happinesses for today, what were yours?
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Habits and other things
Yesterday I ran out of floss. Today, after I brushed my teeth, I still automatically reached up into the medicine cabinet and tried to take out my trusty floss holder, then felt bewildered and just sort of off for not being able to floss. I'm not saying this because I'm some sort of floss freak, but because that made me realize the simple power of habits. And subsequently made me think about the power of subconscious habits, whether they're mental or physical. I think forming good habits is incredibly important. I think this makes me sound like everyone's mom. But there's merit to that! Floss. Run. Get shit done. Maybe more importantly, mental habits like not immediately writing people or things off, asking positive questions throughout the day, focusing on the proactive.
I feel like you have to dedicate yourself wholly to what's being prescribed (positivity) or run the risk of feeling "oh I failed at asking positive questions, it's so hard, I just want to sit and eat and wallow! Wallowallowalllow." Or maybe what i mean is, what's the difference between momentarily not being positive because it actually is hard to sustain, and being negative? Habits are hard to cultivate, too, without turning into a robot, or feeling prisoner to the obligation. There are definitely times where I just want to say, fuck it I am so tired why can't I just let myself fall into bed and go to sleep. But then I end up in the bathroom flossing, grudgingly. At that point, maybe a truly advanced human being (I bet Siddhartha Gautma had excellent personal hygiene, or maybe he just would've been unnaturally clean bc he was enlightened and had transcended cavities) could say, "here is the habit and here is me flouting it this once, for the sake of the greater good of my body i.e. sleep." Maybe a truly advanced human being never feels obligated to perform habitual actions but instead does them willingly, joyfully. The snots. As I'm not a truly advanced human being yet or ever, I don't know if my habits (even good ones) rule me or I them. I don't have that many obvious habits, I don't think.
What's that Wisconsin law firm commercial? Habush, Habush, and Rottier. Habit, habit...
So yoga's actually quite difficult. For one thing, I never pay attention to the Sanskrit name of the asana we're doing, which means I'm usually lost until she says the English name or I sneak a look at my better attention paying classmates. And for another thing, the big thing, it requires a lot of energy/flexibility/strength. Downward facing dog my ass, downward facing all the blood in your body rushes to your head and it feels like it's going to explode more like it. I really don't like downward facing dog or mukshasnfjasasana or something like that. What I do like about yoga though is making a tree pose or warrior pose and I can pretend I'm rooted strongly to the ground while my arms point cleanly through the air. It feels like I'm drawing up power from the ground and my limbs are long magnets. But as I was telling Becca, I think I'd rather sleep in than become yogically enlightened.
It's weird because this semester, I don't really have enough classes to feel like I need to work. We got off Neuro 629 on Thursday for Obama, because Peter the professor feels "Seems to me that seeing a President is a pretty big deal (after all, we've only had 44 in our whole history!) and even tho it is a campaign, a President is special here..like him or not. So, feel free to go without missing class." That pretty much sums up that class. Peter's the type to mutter dry comments to himself as he lectures, and though the material is ridonk, we don't even really have tests. My two neuro seminars are just interesting, interesting, interesting, o and pizza! There will be pizza on Thursday this week. Pizza and basically no work, just musing write-ups. That leaves ochem and ethics, one of which I've taken before and actually discover I like, and the other which I haven't gone to that much...ethically ambiguous.
Um. Tomorrow I have a busy day--class, class, lab, lunch with Albert if there's time, then off to St. Mary's to shadow. Slow Food Cafe is having breakfast this week!! Homemade nutella stuffed french toast was on the menu, so we're gonna go to that I think. Why is breakfast the savoriest meal of the day? I love potato latkes and potato anythings. I'm tired now bc I had yoga, biked back and forth six times, then went for a run. It was a perfect run. I can't use words to really explain the feeling, but it had to do with the cool air and the pure sky, faintly pink and faintly darkening as the sun set over Lake Wingra, the trees flaming different colors, the still waters reflecting sky and leaves and everything being so quiet. Quiet, and wide, and darkening. I love the repetitive sound of feet on gravel or ground, over and over, eating up distance like a patient monster.
I think the only times I really feel peaceful & my head is quiet are when I'm outside doing something physical. It returns me to myself, to what is really important. It's like I afterwards, I stand on a mountain instead of overwhelmed in a valley where I can't even see the sky. I think I'd probably be depressed if I didn't have that, so I wonder, what do other people have? What are the serenity sources that other people have to draw upon and are they as constant, as renewable, as mine?
I feel like you have to dedicate yourself wholly to what's being prescribed (positivity) or run the risk of feeling "oh I failed at asking positive questions, it's so hard, I just want to sit and eat and wallow! Wallowallowalllow." Or maybe what i mean is, what's the difference between momentarily not being positive because it actually is hard to sustain, and being negative? Habits are hard to cultivate, too, without turning into a robot, or feeling prisoner to the obligation. There are definitely times where I just want to say, fuck it I am so tired why can't I just let myself fall into bed and go to sleep. But then I end up in the bathroom flossing, grudgingly. At that point, maybe a truly advanced human being (I bet Siddhartha Gautma had excellent personal hygiene, or maybe he just would've been unnaturally clean bc he was enlightened and had transcended cavities) could say, "here is the habit and here is me flouting it this once, for the sake of the greater good of my body i.e. sleep." Maybe a truly advanced human being never feels obligated to perform habitual actions but instead does them willingly, joyfully. The snots. As I'm not a truly advanced human being yet or ever, I don't know if my habits (even good ones) rule me or I them. I don't have that many obvious habits, I don't think.
What's that Wisconsin law firm commercial? Habush, Habush, and Rottier. Habit, habit...
So yoga's actually quite difficult. For one thing, I never pay attention to the Sanskrit name of the asana we're doing, which means I'm usually lost until she says the English name or I sneak a look at my better attention paying classmates. And for another thing, the big thing, it requires a lot of energy/flexibility/strength. Downward facing dog my ass, downward facing all the blood in your body rushes to your head and it feels like it's going to explode more like it. I really don't like downward facing dog or mukshasnfjasasana or something like that. What I do like about yoga though is making a tree pose or warrior pose and I can pretend I'm rooted strongly to the ground while my arms point cleanly through the air. It feels like I'm drawing up power from the ground and my limbs are long magnets. But as I was telling Becca, I think I'd rather sleep in than become yogically enlightened.
It's weird because this semester, I don't really have enough classes to feel like I need to work. We got off Neuro 629 on Thursday for Obama, because Peter the professor feels "Seems to me that seeing a President is a pretty big deal (after all, we've only had 44 in our whole history!) and even tho it is a campaign, a President is special here..like him or not. So, feel free to go without missing class." That pretty much sums up that class. Peter's the type to mutter dry comments to himself as he lectures, and though the material is ridonk, we don't even really have tests. My two neuro seminars are just interesting, interesting, interesting, o and pizza! There will be pizza on Thursday this week. Pizza and basically no work, just musing write-ups. That leaves ochem and ethics, one of which I've taken before and actually discover I like, and the other which I haven't gone to that much...ethically ambiguous.
Um. Tomorrow I have a busy day--class, class, lab, lunch with Albert if there's time, then off to St. Mary's to shadow. Slow Food Cafe is having breakfast this week!! Homemade nutella stuffed french toast was on the menu, so we're gonna go to that I think. Why is breakfast the savoriest meal of the day? I love potato latkes and potato anythings. I'm tired now bc I had yoga, biked back and forth six times, then went for a run. It was a perfect run. I can't use words to really explain the feeling, but it had to do with the cool air and the pure sky, faintly pink and faintly darkening as the sun set over Lake Wingra, the trees flaming different colors, the still waters reflecting sky and leaves and everything being so quiet. Quiet, and wide, and darkening. I love the repetitive sound of feet on gravel or ground, over and over, eating up distance like a patient monster.
I think the only times I really feel peaceful & my head is quiet are when I'm outside doing something physical. It returns me to myself, to what is really important. It's like I afterwards, I stand on a mountain instead of overwhelmed in a valley where I can't even see the sky. I think I'd probably be depressed if I didn't have that, so I wonder, what do other people have? What are the serenity sources that other people have to draw upon and are they as constant, as renewable, as mine?
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